Sunday, August 4, 2013

Breastfeeding Confessions II

Its late, Im tired, actually I am exhausted and its been one of the hardest days I've had in a while. Remember how I said breastfeeding was hard? Well it certainly hasn't gotten easier and we are six and a half months in. The last few days Paisley has been so constipated and its affected her eating and has made her a very fussy baby. I think this is the most that she has ever fussed. To the Momma's who have babies that fuss all the time, I really admire you because in these last few days I have wanted to pull my hair out. I've wanted to scream. I've wanted to merely just sob. 

We have hit the "nursing strike" stage and I honestly don't know where to go from here. Part of me just wants to give up because its easy and its seems to make the most sense, but then I feel silly for even thinking that I would come this far and give up. We've made it through all the allergy stuff so I am pretty sure that I should be able to make it through a few moments of her not wanting to nurse. Anyone else ever been here before?

Im not ready to give up the bond that we share. I think that's what really has me holding back, but then I also and not ready to give up what essentially is the best for my baby girl. I know she already thinks shes a big kid, but for a few moments longer I just want her to be little. I want to protect her and give her everything that I can now because if I look at the picture as a whole, this only lasts for such a short time and then its gone. You dont get this time back. Im stressed and overwhelmed, but I do also know that tomorrow is a new day. A new day for bigger opportunities and for a fresh start. Today is done and tomorrow will be better. Im trying my hardest and even though its easy to give up, I will hold tight and give my all. After all, my baby deserves everything right??

Breastfeeding is not for the faint of heart and if it has been easy for anyone of you, count your blessings because its the hardest job that I have ever had. Its a special commitment, but also one of life's greatest rewards.

Today was hard. It was hard knowing she is in pain and not being able to do anything about it, or to even get my baby to eat, but tomorrow will be better I'm sure. Breast feeding you are my love, hate relationship if I have to be completely honest....


  1. Shes old enough for solids, so you might try some prunes, or ask your Dr if its okay to give her a little watered down grape juice. Those are the things my ped recommended... and look at your diet. Have you eaten a lot of cheese or veggies that would make her gasey?

    I wanted to give up a million times, it always gets easier. We made it almost 13 months.

  2. Hi Erin! We have been on solids for the last month or so. We've tried every natural trick in the book and nothing has helped...yet. I haven't done a suppository till I get the ok for her doc. She has been allergic to dairy and we have just started trying to add it back in, but I haven't had a lot of cheese even though I would like to, but I have had dairy for the first time in months so that may not be helping. I'm hoping we can make it to at least a year! Glad I don't feel like the only one that wants to give up :) I'm glad you were able to make it so long!! There's hope :)


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