Friday, December 21, 2012

Soon You'll Be Here...

Paisley Grace. 
In just a few short weeks you will be here! I thought at the beginning of all of this that 40 weeks would feel like an eternity and would go by so slowly, but much to my surprise it has gone faster than I can even think. Feels like it was just the beginning of May when we found out. It was a God thing that I checked the day that I did because I was just thinking my mind was playing tricks on me, but when in reality, you were already on your way, and somehow, and a lot sooner than I thought it could happen, you blessed us :) These last few weeks are going to fly. With Christmas, Uncle Nathan's wedding and your grandparents from CO coming, there wont be much time till you are here. So much to look forward to!! Mommy and Daddy cannot wait to meet you! I have been waiting for this for weeks, or better yet, maybe my whole life. I use to dream of having a baby of my own, and its finally a dream come true. I use to play house and have so many baby dolls, all girls by the way, and now I get a real one of my own. All I have ever wanted was to sing and be a mom. I have accomplished both and it feels like my life is complete!
You also have a really great dad! He is the best husband any girl could ask for, and I know that he is going to be so great with you. I know he is really excited and I know just from all your movements you love him just as much he loves you when you hear his voice, when he is singing, or playing guitar. Hope you get his musical talents :)
And you will LOVE Harley Jane. I think Harley is really ready for you to be here because she spends most of her time in your room now. She loves to sleep right in the middle of the floor at night and over the last few days, she loves to take all of her toys in there and play. Maybe she knows that the end is near and there will be a baby in there. After all, she knew you were in my belly before we even did. She goes everywhere with mom. I am hoping and praying though that she isnt too scared at first when she meets you for the first time. We are blessed to have such a great puppy and a great dog for you to grow up with. That little girl has been through so much, but she is the sweetest thing that you will ever meet. God knew what he was doing when He gave us you and Harley. 
Cant wait for you to come Paisley Grace! We are ready for you to be here with us and to see your cute little face, well from what we saw weeks ago, you were cute even though you were so stubborn and didnt want to show us your whole face. You look like both of us and we are just so excited for your arrival! We love you so much and look forward to your entrance into this world and into our lives. Enjoy your last few weeks before you have lots and lots of people cooing over you :) Love you baby girl!
Mommy and Daddy

Project for Paisley Grace

Ok, so I always dreamed of having a little girl and the fun outfits she would have, all the shopping we would do, all the pink she would have, how cute she would be, and all the fashionable accessories she would own and wear, and my days of dreaming are finally becoming reality!

Nothing has really changed much :)

We get to have a little girl, she has a cute name, Paisley Grace, she has a closet full of pink, ha, her room is gray and pink, she has pink accessories to go in her carseat, cute little shoes (never thought my baby would have so many pairs of boots), and she has tons of cute little fashion accessories. Im obsessed just a bit if you couldnt tell.

So, between Walmart and Target, I have bought all the headbands that they currently offer, go figure, have found headbands here and there, ordered a few from etsy, got a few from Burlington, and I have found my newest hobby....MAKING headbands for Paisley. I might just say, that they are cheap and easy to make, and so much fun!! I spent the afternoon yesterday making a few for Paisley and what fun did I have! I found most of my stuff at Michaels, but I am sure that Joanns has quite a collection, not to mention you may be able to order stuff online too. Paisley is going to be so spoiled!!

I wanted to share what I made and let you all in on the excitement! Here's what I have so far:

I bought a pink feather and then the pink barrette piece and glued them together. Easy as cake!

The peacock feather piece is my favorite. Every girl needs some sort of glam :)

The gray and pink headbands are made of felt. Felt is like .10 a piece or our Michaels does 4/$1 quite often so I bought a bunch. I found a tutorial on making headbands and she gave instructions to make the flowers below and they were easy!! I added the little flowers in center, but you could add anything from pearls, to sparklies or whatever suits your fancy. Takes lots of hot glue though.

Here is the link below that I used to make these headbands and as a guideline for the ones above:

Little girls are so fun! It will be even more exciting when Paisley gets here! I cant imagine all the fun that we are going to have :)

37 Weeks!! Full Term!!

Due Date: January 11, 2013 (Midwife says we have been pretty consistent and would be very surprised if we were to deliver before the end of the year, but her guess is sometime after the New Year) Better start placing  your bets :)

How Far Along: 37 Weeks!!

Total Weight Gain: 25 pounds

Maternity Clothes: Pretty much the same as last week

Stretch Marks: No way jose :)

Sleep: This has been a good week!! I have been completely exhausted no matter how much or how little I have done this week. I have gotten several nights of straight 11 hours of sleep. One night of waking up in the same position as when I went to bed. Good week!!

Missing Anything: At the moment I am pretty content, but I would love to have all the rib pain completely gone

Movement: She has days where the moment I wake up she never stops moving around and kicking me in the side, and then some days where she is a little quieter and doesnt move as much as she normally does. I think she wears herself out :)

Food Cravings: Homemade bean and cheese tacos and pineapple (fresh)

Anything making you sick? Some nausea when too hungry and some smells still

Belly Button: In

Wedding Ring: Still able to get my engagement ring on, but no wedding band :(

Mood: Happy, Excited and Tired! Excited for Aaron to go on Christmas break for 2 weeks, Happy Christmas is almost here and our little girl will be here soon, Nathan's wedding is coming up next weekend, and just plain tired from all the work that there is to prepare for a baby and for visitors and the work you put in for Christmas. All the busyness sure has made time fly

Looking forward to: Christmas and getting to spend time with family! Not to mention Paisley is only a few short weeks away from being here (light at end of tunnel) and my family will all be here soon!! Best Christmas this year!!

Best moment of the week? Aaron going on break! I set a goal to have everything done and completed for our house, for visitors, coming, Christmas shopping and wrapping, and everything done by the 21st so when Aaron went on break we could just breath, have fun and enjoy each other and I managed to complete it all! Makes me feel good!! AND WE ARE FULL TERM!!! I feel like i can breathe can knowing if she came it would all be ok :) yay!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

36 Weeks

Due Date: January 11, 2013 (hoping for sooner!)

How far along: 36 Weeks and a few more to go!!

Size: Watermelon

Total weight gain: 23 pounds

Maternity Clothes: Jeans, yoga pants, leggings, long dresses, sweaters, cardigans, tanks

Stretch Marks? No :)

Sleep: Sleeping better than I have been, but still waking up in the middle of the night with a full bladder. Cant imagine what it will be like when she actually drops...

Missing Anything? Knowing what comfortable feels like, fitting into some of my shoes, my body not being so swollen, and my ribs and back not aching so much

Movement: She is a wild child :) Movements have slowed a little bit, but she is still very active for not having much room. I love feeling her  "roll" and squirm.

Food Cravings: Fresh Pineapple and Oranges

Anything making you sick? Smells. Smell of dirty laundry, trash, and overbearing perfume has come back to haunt me yet again

Labor Signs: No sadly

Symptoms: Little nausea when overly hungry and if I get around the wrong smells

Belly Button: In still, but starting to pop out a little

Wedding Ring: Engagement ring is on, but wedding band wont even fit over my knuckle

Mood: Happy! I accomplished much this week, and not to mention, that if this baby were to come tonight or tomorrow we would be completely ready! Its a great feeling!!

Looking forward to: My birthday and getting my hair done!! AND....just meeting Paisley :)

Best moment of the week? Finishing everything in preparation for this baby! We are ready!!!

Monday, December 10, 2012

35 Weeks

Due Date: January 11, 2013

Total Weight Gain: 20 pounds

Maternity Clothes: Maternity skinny jeans, Yoga pants, Dresses, Leggings, Cami-tanks, and Cardigans

Stretch Marks: I am a lucky girl to be able to say "No" :)

Sleep: Not getting much lately except for here and there. When I do sleep, I have to sleep on my back because sleeping on the left side makes the left side of my lower back feel a little numb and stretched out and sleeping on the right side makes my ribs ache much worse than they already do.

Missing Anything? Sleep. Feeling a little normal without all the aches and pains that this week has been brought on.

Food Cravings: Veggies, Chocolate, Cheese, Peanut Butter, Apples, Soup, Smoothies, Bananas

Anything making you sick? I've had a little nausea this past week and I've had a terrible bout of heartburn here and there

Movement: Still moving lots. Loves tucking up under my ribs (which ache to no end) and loves to have her little feet in my side kicking away :)

Belly Button: Innie still

Rings: Still on, but little tight at times

Mood: Tired, achy and ready to have this baby haha, but if she did come then everything is completely done and ready for her to make her appearance :)

Best moment of the week: Hospital tour! So glad that we switched to a hospital because the hospital is beyond our expectations!! Very clean, very welcoming, very homey. Lots of space in the rooms, TV with DVD options, AND...we get to keep Paisley in the room with us, and after she is born I get the whole hour with her before they do anything!! Makes me a happy mom to be :)

Looking forward to: Strangely my doctors appointment on Thursday, a little gift that is coming in the mail for Paisley, and a week of baking and being crafty!!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

34 Weeks

Due Date: January 11, 2013

Size: Cantaloupe

Total Weight Gain: 20 pounds

Maternity Clothes: I am to the point where I hate getting ready and I hate getting dressed. If I could spend my life in comfy clothes right now I would, but since we are busy bodies, my days are spent in maternity jeans, sweaters, dresses, leggings and sometimes yoga pants and hoodies

Stretch Marks: Not a single one :)

Sleep: I have not slept in a week it feels like! Finding it hard to get comfy and sleep through the night. Not to mention, I am waking up several times just to use the restroom. I thought somehow I might escape having to wake up and pee, but I guess I was really wrong about that one...

Missing Anything? Feeling normal ha.

Food Cravings: I havent really had "big" cravings like most do, but the only thing that I have wanted to eat all week long is Veggies and Tacos. Lots of tacos!

Anything making you sick? Certain smells put me a little over the top, but nothing to major

Movement: Maybe I should be asking does she ever stop moving? Little Paisley is an active little girl. Her favorite spot is having her hiney in my ribs on the right side and an ankle in my ribs on the other side or sometime have her feet way deep in my side. She makes my ribs ache most days.

Belly Button: Still the same as last week

Rings: Still on, but are fitting a little tighter :(

Mood: Tired and emotionally all over the place. Finished working this week and its a bittersweet time. I like working and I know financially it really helps us so that makes it tougher to leave, but it does get me excited that in a few short weeks this little girl could be here. Ready for this pregnancy to be over, but also in some ways surprisingly a little nervous that I am about to be a Momma and have someone to look after for the rest of my life

Best Moment of the Week: Definately finding our pediatrician and the first appointment with the new midwife. So glad we switched from the birthing center to an actual hospital because I LOVE the new midwife. She is great! Not to mention at my appointment she was very very pleased with how perfect my background history, tests, and weight gain were/are. Makes me feel pretty happy :)

Looking forward to: Getting to rest some this week and our hospital tour on Wednesday. I finished packing Paisleys bag and cleaning down all her things and it feels good. Hopefully maternity pics will be finished this week because I am antsy to see them!!


Tears stream down my face. From the outside looking in, it seems all too perfect and well put together, but truth is, inside I feel like I am tangled. I feel as if I am in one giant mess that cant get free. I dont know the exact day that it all began, but I do know that even though I feel like I am in too deep of my mess, I can still be set free and remarkably changed.

Since moving to FL, I have dealt with more fear, and more anger than I care to admit. Life didnt go as planned, things didnt turn out as they should have, people havent acted justly, I've been disappointed, I have been tested and tried, I've lost things and I have gained things, and from there life began its course. Pieces of the puzzle began getting lost or scattered so far apart that I ended up in this mess. Sound familiar? Have you been there? Its not a pleasant place, and one that I would rather get right, right now so that I can be the mother that Paisley is going to need me to be.

Exposure. Its either beautiful and brilliant if captured in the right setting and in the right light, or it can be ugly and painful. Exposure when it comes to taking a true look within ourselves generally is ugly and painful but yields the most beautiful picture of who God designed us to be. No one likes to be exposed or to expose the real picture of who we are, but honestly what are we afraid of? If we know that the end result is nothing but a masterpiece why do we fear it so much? For months, I havent even wanted to ask God to fix me, or to help me deal with the issues that have left me so hard hearted because I have been afraid to have to deal with the pain, and what it would feel like the moment that I let go and let someone else examine the problem and where it all went wrong.

We as humans, we are funny creatures. I laugh now looking back on it all thinking how silly it has been to be angry or to live in fear. I serve a big God, but have I let Him prove just how faithful He is and who He is. Honestly, no. Its easier for me to fear when things get dark, and its easier for me to be angry when things arent fair and they arent the way that they should be. Can God handle all these issues and deal even with my deepest insecurities? Absolutely. Have I believed it well enough to trust and step back. Not even close.

Thats the thing, we serve such a BIG God, who is willing to give us heaven on earth if we let Him and get out of His way. Its beyond painful to deal with the deepest darkest places of our hearts, but friends, as I am finding out, there is glory in the end result. There is so much freedom and liberation, when you can learn to let go. Afraid that God cant set you free or give your life a whole new meaning? He can. I have seen it so many times in my life. It doesnt matter how tangled, how messed up I feel or that you might feel, God can and will turn it around. We just have to be willing to let ourselves go exposed and let Him begin to put the puzzle pieces back to where they need to be. He is our greatest mender. He knows just how fragile we are and where it is that He needs to begin. We are our greatest threat. We hold all the power. Power that can completely keep us locked up or power that can in one moment set us free. Whats your choice? I know mine is to be free. There is so much to this life that I have missed out on because I have been too consumed with "me" and how I have felt to let anyone or anything in.

Im tangled up, but day by day I am asking and praying that what once has been broken and tattered will be restored. I am willing to be exposed if it means that I can become more like Him and do what it is that I have been called to do. End result: beauty like never before. A masterpiece of complete perfection. Flawless.

Savior you have made me whole. You bring life to my dead soul. Its who You are.