Letters to Baby

My Sweet Paisley Sunshine,

Today some of my friends lost their baby son. It has torn your momma up for the last number of days and now hearing its over, my heart aches for them. It aches bad, because I cant imagine losing not one, not two, but three babies in a row. I lost a baby very early on before you, and the pain and the emptiness leaves a huge whole in who you are. Having you, and being a parent now, I dont know what I would ever do in this situation. I cant help but be angry for them, to share a bit of their pain as they go home empty-handed. Life is so not fair. Sometimes I really wish I knew why bad things happen to good people, or why God would let them endure some of the cruelest, toughest pain. Tonight, I am angry. I question why God did this to them. I dont know the purpose. I honestly cant even see the logic in His purpose right now. It all just doesnt make sense. I know from here on out, I will count myself really lucky to have you, to be with you every day, to teach you all about life, how to have fun, how to love, how to be happy. And you in turn, teach this Momma how to be patient, how to see life in a whole new perspective, how to live in the moment, how to not worry so much about what the house looks like, that its ok to stay in bed and pjs all day and just cuddle, you teach me how to love deeper, and to just go with it. After these last few days, everything pales in comparison to what this family just got hit with. My phone and emails can wait. The dirty dishes can wait. The laundry can wait, sweeping the floor and cleaning the bathroom can wait. My time is yours. Time is precious. You cant ever get this moments back and Im sure that this family is wishing that time could just stand still for one moment. For one second. To have one more moment with their precious baby, one last kiss, one last look, one last anything. Tears stream down my face. I wish more people understand how valuable time is. You dont ever get it back. Everything can wait, but our children cant. You are what makes our world. Life has a whole new meaning after today. Its sad how something like this really makes you stop, think and reevaluate. You are precious to me, being with you is precious to me. I want to make sure that every moment counts when I am with you. It has to count because wherever you look there will always be one woman, one man, one family wishing they could have a child, to be parent and then there will be some young girl aborting a baby, or some sick person killing a child. Its reality. So many people wanting to make a family and so many others who would give anything to just get rid of a child. Again, life doesnt make sense at all sometimes. Make sure that you make every day count. You live it to its fullest. I want to make sure that at the end of my life, when its all said and done, that I will have nothing left to give because I literally gave it my all along the way. Treasure the moments. When you have children of your own, you will understand more of what I am saying, but also make sure that you give them your all. They will be the only thing that matters in the end. Everything else can wait because it doesnt carry the weight of importance that a human being does. You will see one day, you will see :)

I love you more than you will ever know my girl

Momma

Letters to Baby

Baby Girl,

I read a blog post of some friends who are in the most challenging situations after giving birth to their new little baby boy. My heart aches for them and hurts so badly that they have to go through what they are going through. This world is tough. There is lots of evil out there, and many things that we dont understand, and will never understand. I just want you to know that no matter what happens in this lifetime, your daddy and I will try to give you everything we can. If we have to move mountains for you; we will.

Today is a hard day and all I can do is hold you a little tighter, love you a little longer, kiss you a little more and make sure that you know that you are my world. I am beyond blessed to be able to be home with you each and everyday and not miss a beat. This time is something that I wont ever take for granted. You just never know when time will run out and it will be the end of something. Live life to its fullest. I mean it. In one instance, in one moment everything can completely change. Take in as much as you can, do what you dream of doing. Don't ever let fear get in the way of your dreams and the plans that you have for your life. Do everything you do with confidence. Set your mind to something and go for it. You never know where things can lead, but you first have to be willing to just simply start. You never know if you dont ever give something a try. Also, its ok to make mistakes. We all make mistakes. Its what helps shape us and makes us stronger. Mistakes dont define you. People dont define you. Your past will never define you. Dont be afraid to take a risk. Dont be afraid to love. Dont be afraid to try new things. Dont be afraid to be you. Dont be afraid to stand out. Dont be afraid to write history. Dont be afraid to take the road less traveled. Whatever you do, do it with everything that you have got. You might just surprise yourself with the things that you learn and do. Whatever you need, I will always be here to support you and help you. Life is what you make of it. Enjoy it. Live it. Live in the moment. The worst thing we can do is always be wishing for more or always looking a head that we miss what is right in front of us. There is so much up a head for you! You are going to do great and mighty things. I believe in you and I believe that you can. You are fierce and I know there will be nothing that stops you when you set your mind to it.

Thank you for giving me some of life's greatest moments. Thank you for being the joy to our lives. This time with you is so valuable and precious to me. Know that. Always know that.

I love you beyond words,

Momma

Letters to Baby

Paisley Grace,

I love you with more with each passing day. Today has been quite a rough day for us. You have been fussier than normal and you havent wanted to nurse much because you are so easily distracted by all the noises and chaos that life adds to our daily lives. Your Momma is tired, but I know that I wouldnt trade any of these moments for anything else. Its hard to believe that you are here with us after years of waiting and wanting a child and the loss of another. I feel so blessed to be your mommy. God gave us the greatest, sweetest, precious daughter anyone could ask for :) My girl you are certainly loved and I hope that you know that every single day. I hope there is never a day or a moment that goes by that you dont feel or know how much your Daddy and I love you. You are life's greatest gift to us. I want you to know that when you are bigger, that we are always here for you and want to give you the best life that we can possibly give you here on earth. Please know that we will never judge you or love you any less based on decisions that you will one day make. You are our daughter and there will be nothing that will ever change that. Life is hard sometimes and sometimes we get mixed up in the wrong things, but know that we all make mistakes and while we may have to deal with consequences, we become better, stronger people. There is a lesson in everything. Choose wisely my dear. Listen to God and follow where He directs you. You cant ever go wrong when you are following Him and his direction for your life. I will do my best {Im sure Daddy will too} to always help you along the way and give you the best advice I know how. 

Thank you for trusting your Momma and your Dadda at such a young age. You mean the world to us and I am so privileged to be your Mom. I cant wait to see the beautiful girl you grow up to be, but until then we have so many sweet, fun moments and memories to make along the way. Hoping tomorrow is a better day for the two of us. 

I love you so much baby girl,

Momma


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Letters to Paisley Grace

My sweet Paisley Grace,

As you sleep soundly in between Mommy and Daddy, I cant help but be completely overwhelmed and reminded of the most beautiful, precious, perfect gift that God has blessed us and entrusted us with. All the years of dreaming and wanting my own babies and being a mommy are finally real, and more than I could ever have imagined or dreamed of. You are our greatest joy and I am {daddy too} completely smitten by you. 

There's nothing that will ever come close to the amount of love that I have for you. Nothing. There are no words to describe it either. I hope someday when you have your own children you will know and understand the depth of love that we, Mommy and Daddy, have for you. You may not always understand that or realize that, but just know that everything that we do in this lifetime is for you.

Just know, that you are some of life's greatest and highlighting moments for us. Somehow the time always gets away from us and leaves me wishing for more. Wishing that time could just stand still for one moment while we take it all in. I've enjoyed every moment and every second with you, watching you grow, watching you evolve into all that God created you to be and still its never enough. It will never be enough. If you have taught me one thing its never take anything for granted. You have taught me to live in the moment and find the beauty in every single second. Your Momma is extremely grateful for such a valuable lesson. 

Paisley, you are my heart and soul. I hope you never forget that sweet girl. Till next time, know that you are loved, oh so loved.

Love you forever, 
Momma